How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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