it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
