yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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