Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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