K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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