Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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