I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
