Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
