K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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