Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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