my mouth tastes like poor choices
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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