When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
