i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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