Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
