I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
