I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
