I puked a lego.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize