Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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