i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
