Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
