Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
