You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
my poor anus
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
