Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
