that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
