I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
