You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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