my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
