I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Randomize
