Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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