im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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