It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My vagina just recognized that song.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
