He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
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I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
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If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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