that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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