If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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