nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
