Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I yelled at your uterus for you.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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