She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
