Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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