i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
A+ Viking dick
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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