Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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