Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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