I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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