bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
