glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
