and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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