if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
