I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
