I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
