Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have demons in me.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
