I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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