I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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