We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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