True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
