Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
should my penis look like a turkey
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
