am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
