Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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