my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
