Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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