He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sext me about skeletons
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
