The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
