Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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