You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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