ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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