I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize