her vagine was all disorganized.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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