It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
